Just another Voice screaming to get out and be heard

guys. I've been doing so well. I've been happy, I've been better about my body, and my confidence and life is awesome and then i see a picture of this really skinny girl and I want to cry and im so upset that it hurts my heart and my eyes burn. why does this happen to me?! what diid I do to deserve this?

oh my gosh. life is awesome!
I came out to my parents yesterday and told them I had a girlfriend, and they were so supportive! and my girlfriend kissed me on saturday at GSA movie night and its all just so freaking amazing! GOD! and i get to hang out with her tomorrow after school! :D

you're so gorgeous, just believe it!

I havent been on this site for three months... thats a long break.
i think i might have left because no one liked what I posted. oh well. im feeling a little better about life now, which i guess is a good thing.
um. yeah. comment, say hi?

Day 30: Your highs and lows of this month
 
lots of depression. every night. i lie in bed wishing to cry, wishing to end it all. wishing for a friend and a lover. wishing for a better tomorrow.
 
my highs are when im with friends. they distract me, keep me occupied and entertained. i love them so very fucking much.

day 29: Goals for the next 30 days
 
i would like to say that my goals are not to eat at all, but that wont happen because i got a shitload of candy for christmas.
 
getting sleep would be nice.
keep my grades up
see friends
be nice to people
be happy
watch movies
finish catching up on skins
WATCH SHERLOCK!
like someone?? i dont know.
make new friends!
enjoy life

just.
please
help
 
or dont
 
its not like anyone ever does
 
ill suffer alone
let it eat me away from the inside out
jesus christ
 
god i wish i wasnt such a coward,

Day 28: Something that you miss
 
i miss happiness
i miss smiles
i miss friends
i miss love
i miss achievement
i miss everything i've ever lost

day 27: a problem that you have had.
 
i have been struggling with depression for a couple of months and its been hard. really hard. its taken its toll on me and i've lost countless things because of it.

she sat alone in silence
suffering
she sat alone feeling
nothing
she sat alone
wishing
 
wishing for another day
wishing for another chance
wishing for another life
 
believing someday it might be
different
believing someday she'll
change
believing someday she'll stop
caring
believe someday someone will take her
away